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Only part of my previous sharing was posted: 

However, I never looked at the underlying issues that had been the reasons for my drinking. And so, even though I had not had a drink in over two years, I was able to still destroy my life. I had an affair. It was not intentional. I was not looking for it. But I did allow it to happen. I have destroyed my marriage. My wife hates me. My son hates me. I have lost the love and respect of the woman that I was having the affair with. I am alone.

So now, I have surrendered my life to God. I have a sponser. I go to meetings. I study. I read. I pray. I hope. Still, there are those days when I think, "Why go on?'

kunisada's picture
About kunisada

I was given the gift of physical sobriety almost three years ago. However, my life is still chaotic. I continue to cause pain and suffering for myself and others. I have no spiritual grounding. I just started working the steps and now have a sponser.