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Posted by: kunisada Date: Mar 29, 2019

Only part of my previous sharing was posted: 

However, I never looked at the underlying issues that had been the reasons for my drinking. And so, even though I had not had a drink in over two years, I was able to still destroy my life. I had an affair. It was not intentional. I was not looking for it. But I did allow it to happen. I have destroyed my marriage. My wife hates me. My son hates me. I have lost the love and respect of the woman that I was having the affair with. I am alone.

So now, I have surrendered my life to God. I have a sponser. I go to meetings. I study. I read. I pray. I hope. Still, there are those days when I think, "Why go on?'

Group Name: 
AA Sitewide Public Group
kunisada's picture
About kunisada

I was given the gift of physical sobriety almost three years ago. However, my life is still chaotic. I continue to cause pain and suffering for myself and others. I have no spiritual grounding. I just started working the steps and now have a sponser.

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2013-03-11 19:02:45 -0700

well here goes nothing. one month ago i moved 350 miles to start a new life. this guy we will call him mark asked me to move in with him and i said yes. i quit my full time fob after 3 years gave up my aparment i had this for 5 years. Mark owes me 1,500 dollars. he is also in recovery 5 years. and is 11 years younger han me. maybe this brothers him i dont know. it seam latley the only time he talks to me is when he wants something. and not sex. because we have not had sex with each other. so i guess im just very confused of what his intentios are.

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Comments

Falstaff's picture

Submitted by Falstaff on Sun, 01/05/2020 - 11:16

I totally still have those "why go on?" days too and it's been over 3 years. I know the "alone," because it's most the time I'm not at a meeting. More and more often though, when I'm alone and at peace; fishing or walking, I get a little dose of my higher power. I never feel alone in those little moments and they seem to be increasing. 

 

Falstaff