this site is a great idea. I love it. I am still testing and finding my way arround it. thanks for this site. Thanks, Alcoholic Anonymous

Only part of my previous sharing was posted: 

However, I never looked at the underlying issues that had been the reasons for my drinking. And so, even though I had not had a drink in over two years, I was able to still destroy my life. I had an affair. It was not intentional. I was not looking for it. But I did allow it to happen. I have destroyed my marriage. My wife hates me. My son hates me. I have lost the love and respect of the woman that I was having the affair with. I am alone.

I was given the gift of abstinence. I say a "gift" because it came about because I was scared. I thought I was dying; literally. I thought I had serious liver damage. I mean, I drank for 30 years. So I stopped. But it turned out to be diverticulitis. Still serious, but not life threatening. 

I didn't know I needed to. I was to much making arrangements to make a daily planner. Just so I wouldn't have free time on my hands so when I quit it wouldn't be so hard on me. Then I started to read that fear was a big contributor to forcing people into relapse. And it all made perfect sense to me and as I sat back to listen to my thoughts , I heard myself scared of different things as well. I realized I too was scared of my fear. I feared fear also. And if I didn't face my fear then I was going to have minimal results in effort given.

so here i am, 6 and half years clean and i am battling my weight...again. having once ballooned up to 314, then gotten down to 233, now, after injury and baumgartner type dive off the healthy food wagon i am at 299. i have to find my way again, out of the obsession of eating. it is "using" in a different sort of way- the drugs are gone but the need to fill a craving remains.