My name is Michael and I am a compulsive overeater. There is no longer any question that I am powerless over my disease, and my life has become (long ago) unmanageble. I don't want to hide anymore. I don't want to seclude. I don't want the dark.
I am starting this journey of recovery and really need and want feedback. I am seeing a councelor for the last 5 months. Iʻve slipped up 2 times since.
My entire family knows, including my 3 children. Itʻs painful and scary. My councelor keeps telling me that I am moving forward but that i need to surrender to my addiction instead of trying to beat it....iʻm not sure how to surrender and what that really means? I admit i have a problem and i want to get better.
However, I never looked at the underlying issues that had been the reasons for my drinking. And so, even though I had not had a drink in over two years, I was able to still destroy my life. I had an affair. It was not intentional. I was not looking for it. But I did allow it to happen. I have destroyed my marriage. My wife hates me. My son hates me. I have lost the love and respect of the woman that I was having the affair with. I am alone.
I was given the gift of abstinence. I say a "gift" because it came about because I was scared. I thought I was dying; literally. I thought I had serious liver damage. I mean, I drank for 30 years. So I stopped. But it turned out to be diverticulitis. Still serious, but not life threatening.
