I am a grateful recovering alcoholic, as well as a grateful recovering survivor of a couple of dysfunctional family systems. I have been on every side of this disease, beginning as the daughter of an alcoholic, the wife of an alcoholic (big surprise), my own alcoholism, and the mother of an alcoholic. Yes, this is indeed a disastrous family disease that destroys wonderful, loving people in the process.
However, I never looked at the underlying issues that had been the reasons for my drinking. And so, even though I had not had a drink in over two years, I was able to still destroy my life. I had an affair. It was not intentional. I was not looking for it. But I did allow it to happen. I have destroyed my marriage. My wife hates me. My son hates me. I have lost the love and respect of the woman that I was having the affair with. I am alone.
I am starting this journey of recovery and really need and want feedback. I am seeing a councelor for the last 5 months. Iʻve slipped up 2 times since.
My entire family knows, including my 3 children. Itʻs painful and scary. My councelor keeps telling me that I am moving forward but that i need to surrender to my addiction instead of trying to beat it....iʻm not sure how to surrender and what that really means? I admit i have a problem and i want to get better.
