Search form

Step One

Hi there,


Im G and I'm an alcoholic. Im ten weeks sober and trying to begin to work the steps. I've been in AA for 7 months and have always rushed into choosing a sponsor. I don't want to make the same mistake this time. So I want to start on my own. Does anyone have any advice on how I can do this without a sponsor for a while?



GBCC's picture
About GBCC

29 year old recovering alcoholic trying to rebuild my life after tearing it down.


Livincleannfree's picture

If you're wanting to do this without a sponsor. Then U really need to work the steps as U understand them. It's really important to have a sponsor because it gives U somebody who can explain to U the importance of the steps & how they work. Another thing that U can do is read the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. At least read the 1st 164 pages & if U still don't feel like U need or want a sponsor then you really need 2 do the steps & go to meetings. Good Luck On Ur Journey May It be A Successful One.
I've also got a group on Facebook called (Recovery Sponsorship) if U'd like I can add U to it. Take Care & Bless U

Joni Stach

StephanieDolzall's picture

Hello G. 

Starting on your own is not a bad thing.  Continuing on your own after your 4th step would be.  While you sit in meetings, listen.  Hang out after the meetings.  Just listen.  Listen to those around you, what they talk about and how they behave.  If they offer to take you to lunch, dinner, go. Make no commitments until you believe it's someone you want the kind of sobriety they have.  Sobriety that's not going to cause you more problems. The reason we try to include a sponsor, or another trusted person in our sobriety is that during our drinking we convinced ourselves that what we were doing was somehow justified. We rationalized our drinking/drugging.  We can end up doing the same thing in the program by making "reasons", "excuses" and "justifications".  We can fool our ownselves. It's not so easy to fool someone who has been there and did that. They can gently pull us back to reality and help show us where we are off base. When we are missing the mark. It's help, not control.  It's suggestions, not orders. Don't be afraid of a sponsor, but choose one who is practicing the principals. Treating others with kindness and respect, male AND female. Until you get to the 5th step, ask your HP to guide you, to be your Sponsor.  At the 5th step, Our HP wants us to find someone with skin on. We need a human to walk us through the rest of the steps. I will suggest to you to work your 4th step as deep and as hard as you can.  As thorough as you can.  (Having a sponsor for that step can really help give you ideas of things that would remind you what needs to be on that step and help encourage you when you might be discouraged over our past actions. Remember to include the good we have done in life as well.)

On the first step, Write out everything you remember from right before you came in.  What kinds of things were going on while you were drinking/drugging?  What was your life like then?  What did you feel like or feel about all that?  Who paid your bills?  How were your finances?  Were you in trouble with the law? How were your personal relationships with family? Friends? Co-Workers? Neighbors?  Significant other or Spouse?  How much were you drinking?  Were you having black outs? Had you tried to stop drinking/drugging before?  How many times?  What was the result of those attempts? What kinds of things did you do when you were drinking/drugging that you don't want to do today? What happened that made you decide you want to quit drinking/drugging? 

It is important to write this out, as it is something to remember.  Someday it will be part of your AA lead (story).

If you need anymore suggestions, let us know.  We're here to help you as we can.

Love & Hugs,