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About Me

I'm 36 years old. I live in Los Angeles county California. I'm not married, unemployed and not attending any school. I have a 14 month old daughter whom I'm being kept away from and because of that I cry and when I cry I hate myself and when I hate myself I then run to drugs. It's that vicious cycle again. I have a boyfriend of two years and I live with my life partner whom is my 3year old Bull Terrier. Did I mention I'm also 2 months pregnant. That's why I need help with getting clean. I am a patient at the Methadone clinic but that doesn't help me enough. I guess my DOC are heroin and methamphetamine and I also do the Methadone too. I really want help with my addictions. Because I really miss my daughter. I never been to a NA meeting but want to go if someone would go with me ! I'm a good girl. I don't disrespect and live drama free. I go by Jesus's motto as "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". And I believe that to the core of me.I'm a great friend and a good listener. So if anyone ever needs to talk to someone, I can be that someone. I've heard that I give out really good advice. So don't be shy, I won't be mean. I'll be nice, I swear. I just look mean.!

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Public Activities by Qu1f1re

How to conquer my fear

I didn't know I needed to. I was to much making arrangements to make a daily planner. Just so I wouldn't have free time on my hands so when I quit it wouldn't be so hard on me. Then I started to read that fear was a big contributor to forcing people into relapse. And it all made perfect sense to me and as I sat back to listen to my thoughts , I heard myself scared of different things as well. I realized I too was scared of my fear. I feared fear also. And if I didn't face my fear then I was going to have minimal results in effort given.

I'm still chained with my own shackles of addiction.

This is my first time posting. I'm not sure if I'm doing this right either. So excuse me if I'm wrong. 
I've never been to a NA meeting. I want to go but am scared to go alone. I know until I do then ill never get a sponsor nor will I find my recovery. Yes, I'm still an active user. I don't want to be. I miss my 14 month old daughter and want to see and hold her. I'm tired of being a slave to heroin. 

Profile Info

Qu1f1re's picture
Program: Narcotics Anonymous
Member since: 3 years 2 months ago