So often we ACoA get caught up in feeling all the feelings of the past, that we sometimes get stuck in what once was. In fact, sometimes we get so caught up in how we used to feel, we forget that we aren't powerless anymore. As a recovering ACoA I have learned to embrace my past as a gift. Because I am an ACoA I was forced to look within for answers, and as a result I found the greatest blessings ever. I found--ME.
Im G and I'm an alcoholic. Im ten weeks sober and trying to begin to work the steps. I've been in AA for 7 months and have always rushed into choosing a sponsor. I don't want to make the same mistake this time. So I want to start on my own. Does anyone have any advice on how I can do this without a sponsor for a while?
I was given the gift of abstinence. I say a "gift" because it came about because I was scared. I thought I was dying; literally. I thought I had serious liver damage. I mean, I drank for 30 years. So I stopped. But it turned out to be diverticulitis. Still serious, but not life threatening.
I didn't know I needed to. I was to much making arrangements to make a daily planner. Just so I wouldn't have free time on my hands so when I quit it wouldn't be so hard on me. Then I started to read that fear was a big contributor to forcing people into relapse. And it all made perfect sense to me and as I sat back to listen to my thoughts , I heard myself scared of different things as well. I realized I too was scared of my fear. I feared fear also. And if I didn't face my fear then I was going to have minimal results in effort given.
When you are the adult child of an alcoholic or the product of being raised by one, you can't quite put your finger on what's wrong. All you know is you feel ill, inappropriate; like a misfit.
As we age, our ego has never learned to trust this place we call home, and so--ego grows.
