Opiates vs Methadone

Search form

jen dubb's picture
Step Number: 
Topic: 
The disease of addiction
Question: 
Has my disease been active recently? In what way?
Answer: 

I use heroin. I've tried to cold turkey it and went through hell. I always ended up using. I've been cutting back on heroin and raising my methadone. Isn't methadone a drug as well? I've also heard it's worse to come off then the D. I'm up to 70 ml of meth. I'm still using about a point or 2 a day. It's basically in my head now because I know I could stop using without any physical withdrawal. Maybe I should have just taper off the heroin without methadone although I'm not sure I have the will power to do it correctly. I have been clean before and gone through treatment with success. At this point I start telling myself maybe I can use. Maybe I can control it and use a little or on the weekend. Then I know my addict brain is trying to trick me. I'm lying to myself. My disease tells me all kinds of things to trick me into using or making plans to use. Diseases are usually something you have that is bad to your health and sometimes incurable.

Visibility: 
Public - accessible to all site users

Comments

custodian's picture

Jen, Thanks for the share. Yes Methadone is a drug. I'll pray for you to let go of both, methadone and herion, and start your recovery wild journey. Do not be shy to ask for help from fellow NA or from professionals. The key point to success is to continue going to meeings, having a sponsor and work the steps. I am sharing this from experience. I've met hunderds and maybe thousands of recovery addicts whom been in the same boat as you.

Good Luck and let us know how you are doing

CMorgan88's picture

My homegroup has 5 "Suggestions"

1. Go to a meeting

2. Get a Sponsor

3. Work the steps

4. Be of Service

5. Join a Homegroup

number one was the hardest one for me, even at 40 days clean i wasnt sure about N.A., but I made my self go. the "Fake it till you make it" definately applied to me. I am now 110 days Clean from Heroin, Methamphetamine and Alcohol. Its not easy sweetie, but take it one day at a time, one step at a time and get to a meeting and SHARE! thats the most important thing you can do. it will help you create a support network of people who are in Recovery and been Clean anywhere from 24 hours to Multiple Years. Dont be shy or scared! the N.A. community thrives on HUGS NOT DRUGS! My homegroup has become my second family! i love these guys and i used to be so scared of asking for help for fear of judgement, but NOONE at the meetings  will judge you, they will just hug you and love you unconditionally when you cant love yourself and its the best feeling in the world!!

C.M.