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starting this journey

I am starting this journey of recovery and really need and want feedback.  I am seeing a councelor for the last 5 months.  Iʻve slipped up 2 times since.  

My entire family knows, including my 3 children.  Itʻs painful and scary.  My councelor keeps telling me that I am moving forward but that i need to surrender to my addiction instead of trying to beat it....iʻm not sure how to surrender and what that really means?  I admit i have a problem and i want to get better.  

What does it mean to surrender to my addiction?

Hapa808's picture
About Hapa808


Julie's picture

Surrender is a very important part of recovery, but it doesn't just happen in one day. It's a process that unfolds. Step 1 is the first part of that long process. By simply accepting that we are powerless over something and that our lives get crazy when we use whatever it is, we are taking the first of many baby steps towards surrendering. But it cannot stop there, we need to keep moving and heal the wounds that have got us turning to distructive stuff to try to temporarily solve, numb, whatever. The best way to wade through all this stuff is with other people who have been where you are, and who are going where you want to go. Please find some meetings in your area, stay after the meetings to chat with some supportive members, find a sponsor after a bit, and work the steps. The surrender will happen, but we didn't become addicted in one day, so remember: easy does it. Please give meetings a try, don't worry: we all feel like outsiders, like we don't belong, and all that crap, so you're not alone. Just go and feel awkward for a little bit, you won't die from embarrasement :-P I promise, as a clean mom myself, it's the best thing you can do for those preciouse little people that call you Mommy. <3

Try to find a local NA meeting here:

or if all else fails, try the World Service Office at 1-818-773-9999


cyndiluw's picture

As a mother in recovery I feel your pain, you must stay clean at all cost. Your children need you desperately. I am now the parent of two addicts. My son is a heroin addict and my daughter is a meth addict. I took my children with me on my journey of drug use. I have been living by example now for almost nine years. Your children really need you to be there for them. Find a meeting, keep busy and try to keep focused on your recovery. Life is wonderful, but you need to be sober to really feel that way.

custodian's picture

Your counselor is right; don't try to beat addiction. As Julie mentioned, try to get yourself to a meeting, get a sponsor, and ask for help. This way you are not dealing with addiction alone and this is the best way to surrender at this point: surrender in action.

Hapa808's picture

Thank you very much. I will find a meeting. And by the way. I forgot to mention I am a single daddy. LoL

custodian's picture


By the way, you can choose to show your gender on your profile publicly if you wish, just a suggestion. We hope to hear from you again. Feel free to share your thoughts publicly anytime

cyndiluw's picture