Not Just Surviving

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Just for today - November 14

"When we were using, our lives became an exercise in survival. Now we are doing much more living than surviving."   Basic Text p. 50

"I'd be better off dead!" A familiar refrain to a practicing addict, and with good reason. All we had to look forward to was more of the same miserable existence. Our hold on life was weak at best. Our emotional decay, our spiritual demise, and the crushing awareness that nothing would ever change were constants. We had little hope and no concept of the life we were missing out on.

The resurrection of our emotions, our spirits, and our physical health takes time. The more experience we gain in living, rather than merely existing, the more we understand how precious and delightful life can be. Traveling, playing with a small child, making love, expanding our intellectual horizons, and forming relationships are among the endless activities that say, "I'm alive." We discover so much to cherish and feel grateful to have a second chance.

If we had died in active addiction, we would have been bitterly deprived of so many of life's joys. Each day we thank a Power greater than ourselves for another day clean and another day of life.

Just for today: I am grateful to be alive. I will do something today to celebrate.

Comments

acoronel's picture

After relapsing yesterday at 61 days I can now say that i will put all my energy and do whatever it takes to maintain sobriety. The high wasn't the same. i didn't like that i couldn't feel. I couldn't think right. It actualy made me sick and lose so much in one day. So no restart the process and this time i am so grateful to get the chance to be sober. It's sad to say but i needed to relapse for the 5th time to actually want to be clean. I could for the first time see that my decisions affect not just myself but everyone around me. My recovery people, counselers, family and my daughter. I got exited from the T house i was living at. The place my 2 year old called her home. not understanding why all her shit is getting thrown in the car. All of this over my selfish ways. Reality kicked in and I am now facing my consequences, owning up to them, being truthful and now doing what i can to do the next right step. I am grateful for every second i am sober. I am excited for what sobriety brings.

Annamarie