phnxrsn68

I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father. My parents divorced when I was ten and I went to go live with my dad along with my brother, Scott. Scott was 3 years younger than I was and got the worst end of the abuse, which was verbal and physical. We were to remain in this fearful environment for five years. I tried to find ways out of the situation, I pleaded with my father on numerous occasions to stop drinking or stop being so violent. He was an angry drunk but a functioning alcoholic. Every night we were set down at the dinner table and yelled at by my dad for at least an hour. When we cried he would smile. I thought once I left the home the abuse and everything would just go away with a new start. Well, I came to find out it didn't. My brother committed suicide when he was 25 from the abuse and memories he could no longer live with. I didn't understand that both me and my brother had PTSD. I was labeled crazy by those around me at times when I reacted in a unusual way to stressful situations. I also suffer from depression due to the childhood experiences. I believe that the mind certainly changes from experiences like this. For those who have told me to just "get over it", well they don't live with the internal scars I have. I see I am different and don't act right in situations. That is where I started to look for help.